Words Left Unsaid Cut Deeper Than Knives
by AddictedFangirl101
Summary: I was no more a toy than then you were a wed wife seeking out the company of others . Let us see here...We've got some AU and some Korrasami and some angst. Rated T to be safe.


**AN: TLOK do not belong to me, all rights reserved to Mike and Bryan. All mistakes are mine for I have no Beta-never have. Korrasami and slightly OoC because of AU. Enjoy- or don't.** **Reviews are appreciated.**

* * *

My room was positioned neatly atop from where the door lay in my house. It was hot out, these humid summer nights so I kept the window open.I heard the doorbell shout and immediately I knew it was you. It was you because no one else would bother coming to me- and it was three AM in the morning. So I stumbled downstairs, turning on just enough lights to see and wrenching open the door. You were standing there, still in street clothes, at three am in the morning- and you were crying.

The stench of beer riddled on your breath you said "Mako broke up with me. Can I come in?" I looked at you, the woman I had tried to rid from my head many a night for much too long and against my better judgement I said "okay."

You welcomed yourself into my own home, my own safeguard and collapsed onto the couch. I followed suit, attempting desperately to look anywhere but you.

"Can I get you anything?" I asked softly after a moment.

You had stopped crying now. "No" you rasped. "I'm sorry I barged in and woke you. That wasn't very considerate of me."

Your watery blue eyes came up to meet mine and any reluctance I had, dissolved instantly. "Of course not Korra!" I found myself saying with surprising vigor. "I'm here for you, whatever you need."

"Whenever I need?" You repeated febelly.

I assured you, and in a few minutes you reached a hand out, disintegrating any other boundary between us. Fuck boundaries to hell I think as I gather your form into my arms. You fell asleep in my arms, on my couch, at three-forty-five in the morning.

And I tell you now, I should've refused your contact that morning.

* * *

Soon afterwards, you got back together with Mako. Our friendship was shortly forgotten. Six weeks later I found you, yet again on my doorstep. Your pleading eyes do everything for my crumbling resolve. I opened the door. I hated myself for opening that door. I could never deny you anything however, you with those pleading big blue eyes. I was the queen and yet it was me who was bowing before you, the boyish knight in shining armor. Was I to think when you'd arrived at my doorstep, in that goddamn muscle tee that it would be the last time he'd make you cry? I would be foolish to anticipate that. And yet, when you were there, in my arms, tears splashing down the side of my shirt, my fatigued mind conjured up images and thoughts better left unsaid. And when Mako came to you, apologizes in hand, sorrow raining down from his eyes, and promises spilling from his mouth, I was the first one you told. There was to be no more break ups. Thirteen months later, he proposed to you. Sixteen months and you two were wed.

I attended the wedding, breaking out a fake smile as you ran up to me and laughing a fake laugh when Mako jokingly reminisced at when he and I had dated. You hit him upon the head for that and I felt my smile breaking. After months of fretting, twisting and curling while losing sleep and sanity it was here, there was to be no more You and Me- there shouldn't of been anymore You and Me. But seemingly every month, you'd arrive, grasping a bottle of tequila, impatiently ringing my doorbell. And I'd leave the window open so I could hear it. The first time I'd heard you I'd been convinced it was an allusion sent to wreck havoc on my tired mind. It just became habit after that. And I'd still meet up with you and Mako and Bolin for lunch, and I'd laugh when you'd order a Mango/sea prune smoothie-because it was just so...you. We were the gang, Team Korra, there was nothing more to be said. We never talked about us, I never talked about how you were using me.

* * *

Tonight, I sleep but I know I will wake around three. Today was your anniversary.

I rouse before your fingers have time to pull the trigger that is my doorbell. I think I should just go ahead and give you the keys at this point. This time, you have already devoured the bottle of tequila ( and if nothing else, I think how sorry I am for your lungs.) I know what happened, it was Mako- your Mako who had foolishly forgotten your anniversary-again. We don't exchange words but I know if I was yours instead, I would worship every moment we had together, unlike that asshole. But I am yours, and I do treasure you.

But I'd had enough.

"K-Korra, we have to stop this…" I plead desperately, pressed up against the wall of my living room.

"Why?" You ask absently, currently preoccupied with my neck.

My fingers tangle in your hair, intent on forcing you away. Instead I find myself encouraging them- even teasing your hair at the roots.

"Please…..cuz you have to" I swallow "tell Mako."Stumbling out breathlessly, I can't focus.

"I love you" she says and for a moment, I almost believe that.

But I smell the alcohol on your breath. "No..!" I say with surprising force.

You get off me, eyes squinted in confusion. " 'Sami?" you ask, resting a hand on my shaking shoulders.

I shrug them off, crying now. "You gotta tell him" I say turning around. It's so much easier when I don't have to look at those innocent baby blue eyes.

"I will" you plead "just let me have tonight."

My finger shake, and I focus on them despite knowing I was shaking through and through. "That's bullshit" I say because I know you'd never tell him. You love him too much.

Your fingers wrap around my waist, pulling me to my couch. I can't fight anymore tonight-today. Your lips pepper kisses on my face, and on my neck, my arms, every inch of exposed skin.

"I do love you" you say "I just love Mako too." I look into your eyes and see the honest truth in that.

Your hands fumble with the straps of my nightgown, pulling them off my shoulders.

Like always, I let you because when all's said and done, no matter how much you hurt me, I could never hurt you. In truth, denying your needy blue eyes would hurt a lot more than pretending to be numb and letting you devour me.

I was no more a toy than then you were a wed wife seeking out the company of others.

I am dirtied by you, made fowl and just so fucking real (and not but my head spins when I think about it too much.) If I close my eyes, and let your lips take me elsewhere, I can imagine a world where I wasn't the dirty mistress- it was just you and me and we were just simply existing.

I can honestly say I believe in a world where we were real.


End file.
